Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
