i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
