Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
