You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
