no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
