Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
