i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
