i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
