He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
