That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
