covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
