question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
