the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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