I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
