are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
