Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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