I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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