"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
