Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
