I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
