So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize