yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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