If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
