"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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