I want to have your abortion
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
