Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
