Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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