That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
