i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
