i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
