Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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