i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
