I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
