I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
as a side note pls kill me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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