i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
