New invention idea: vibrating tampons
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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