you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize