So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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