I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
