My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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