All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
