all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
