remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
