Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
