PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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