Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sex in a hospital.. check
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
