You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
