i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i believe in u and ur pee
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
