I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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