seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
