i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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