on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
