Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The uberlube is also flammable
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
