week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize