when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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