tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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