i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
