i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize