A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I bet he comes in French.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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