'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
