Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
