so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize