What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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