Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When did angry sex become our thing?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
